A thief by any other name
Shakespere said "a rose by any other name should smell as sweet..."
I recently came across the friend of a beautiful woman. My friend was idealizing this woman and aspired to be like her. For convenience sake, let's call this 'ideal' woman "Jane".
Apparently Jane has the uncanny power to make men happy. She doesn't really do anything, but men want to do things to make her happy. She does not sleep around or offer any other favours for men, but for some reason they are happy to give her things, expensive things.
Every once in a while she "picks" a (well-to-do) "boyfriend". Invariably, the "boyfriend" has to travel a lot or lives in a different town, far away. In order to keep her interested he often sends her things, sends her on trips and in some cases even pay her mortgage. In many cases, this activity continues even after she has "dumped" the "boyfriend".
The amazing thing is that quite often total strangers walk over and start giving her expensive things without her asking for anything...all without strings attached. Wow!
A couple of examples will help illustrate the good fortune of this phenomenal woman:
Jane and a friend had just finished lunch in an expensive restaurant one time. Her friend offered to pay the bill, but Jane said that she would take care of it. Her friend went to the washroom for a few minutes. When she came back, there were two men were insisting on paying the bill. They were total strangers, neither of the women knew them before. Apparently, they were waiting for an opportunity to talk with Jane without her friend being there.
In another case, Jane was at a jewelery store trying on things. A man showed up to repair a watch. He saw her trying on a necklace worth around $300. He offered to buy it for her, but she refused the offer. He asked the teller to wrap up the necklace as a gift and handed it to Jane and left with no demands or obligation on Jane.
Remarkable!
Now, I have some questions:
Human nature is that no one gives anything without expecting something in return. Even though she apparently refuses gifts, why do men insist on giving her things without asking anything in return?
Why are men willing to go out of their way to make this woman happy?
Does she have any responsibility or obligation toward these men? Should she?
Here's my opinion:
It seems this woman has mastered the art of non-verbal communication with men. Without saying a word, she is offering "womanly things". Men are led to believe they will get "her" if they give her things.
Next, she has mastered the art of postponing the fulfillment of her nonverbal promises indefinitely, without offending her suitors.
Unfortunately, men are willing to be led on indefinitely in anticipation of a "reward".
It all seems so innocent until you realize that she does this on purpose and can command compliance from men at will.
As proof of my theory, the man who gifted her the necklace showed up at the jewelery store a couple of weeks later expecting to find Jane. He didn't realize she didn't work there.
Is Jane's behaviour ethical? I don't think so. Even though she doesn't ask for things overtly, she is actually making promises and not fulfilling them. She is playing with people's hearts. That is mean. Being a man myself I understand the drive to give. Men are by nature willing to give in the name of love. If a man has any kind of self esteem, he is willing to give limitlessly to the person he loves.
This woman is tapping into that instinct in her male "victims".
Carmically, I predict the hurt feelings of unfulfilled promises will come back to her in the form of unfulfilling relationships with men. Since we all need someone who loves us, she may have difficulty settling down with someone. She is likely to continue with her "wiles", tricking men into thinking they will get love. When the person she is tricking is her own husband, or someone she actually likes, eventually, the man will catch on and recoil.
I think it is o.k. to accept things from someone you love, as a gift of love.
A freebie is either a result of charity or a result of manipulation. Both will end. Taking advantage of people's weakness is wrong. There is no happiness in it in the long term. It simply makes your heart callus and unable to love.
On the other hand, a gift of love that is returned in some way by love, will continue and blossom in your life. Your life will be full of happiness and love always.
I recently came across the friend of a beautiful woman. My friend was idealizing this woman and aspired to be like her. For convenience sake, let's call this 'ideal' woman "Jane".
Apparently Jane has the uncanny power to make men happy. She doesn't really do anything, but men want to do things to make her happy. She does not sleep around or offer any other favours for men, but for some reason they are happy to give her things, expensive things.
Every once in a while she "picks" a (well-to-do) "boyfriend". Invariably, the "boyfriend" has to travel a lot or lives in a different town, far away. In order to keep her interested he often sends her things, sends her on trips and in some cases even pay her mortgage. In many cases, this activity continues even after she has "dumped" the "boyfriend".
The amazing thing is that quite often total strangers walk over and start giving her expensive things without her asking for anything...all without strings attached. Wow!
A couple of examples will help illustrate the good fortune of this phenomenal woman:
Jane and a friend had just finished lunch in an expensive restaurant one time. Her friend offered to pay the bill, but Jane said that she would take care of it. Her friend went to the washroom for a few minutes. When she came back, there were two men were insisting on paying the bill. They were total strangers, neither of the women knew them before. Apparently, they were waiting for an opportunity to talk with Jane without her friend being there.
In another case, Jane was at a jewelery store trying on things. A man showed up to repair a watch. He saw her trying on a necklace worth around $300. He offered to buy it for her, but she refused the offer. He asked the teller to wrap up the necklace as a gift and handed it to Jane and left with no demands or obligation on Jane.
Remarkable!
Now, I have some questions:
Human nature is that no one gives anything without expecting something in return. Even though she apparently refuses gifts, why do men insist on giving her things without asking anything in return?
Why are men willing to go out of their way to make this woman happy?
Does she have any responsibility or obligation toward these men? Should she?
Here's my opinion:
It seems this woman has mastered the art of non-verbal communication with men. Without saying a word, she is offering "womanly things". Men are led to believe they will get "her" if they give her things.
Next, she has mastered the art of postponing the fulfillment of her nonverbal promises indefinitely, without offending her suitors.
Unfortunately, men are willing to be led on indefinitely in anticipation of a "reward".
It all seems so innocent until you realize that she does this on purpose and can command compliance from men at will.
As proof of my theory, the man who gifted her the necklace showed up at the jewelery store a couple of weeks later expecting to find Jane. He didn't realize she didn't work there.
Is Jane's behaviour ethical? I don't think so. Even though she doesn't ask for things overtly, she is actually making promises and not fulfilling them. She is playing with people's hearts. That is mean. Being a man myself I understand the drive to give. Men are by nature willing to give in the name of love. If a man has any kind of self esteem, he is willing to give limitlessly to the person he loves.
This woman is tapping into that instinct in her male "victims".
Carmically, I predict the hurt feelings of unfulfilled promises will come back to her in the form of unfulfilling relationships with men. Since we all need someone who loves us, she may have difficulty settling down with someone. She is likely to continue with her "wiles", tricking men into thinking they will get love. When the person she is tricking is her own husband, or someone she actually likes, eventually, the man will catch on and recoil.
I think it is o.k. to accept things from someone you love, as a gift of love.
A freebie is either a result of charity or a result of manipulation. Both will end. Taking advantage of people's weakness is wrong. There is no happiness in it in the long term. It simply makes your heart callus and unable to love.
On the other hand, a gift of love that is returned in some way by love, will continue and blossom in your life. Your life will be full of happiness and love always.
posted by Neeraj Varma | 4:40 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home